Scratches | David Hull

So, suddenly, I'm "in a manager role". Trying to figure out what that means, or even what I'm supposed to do in that role. It hasn't been announced to anybody yet, and I my manager already got feedback that I was being too "directive" in a meeting where I was a contributor, not a driver. He was right of course, I was running on emotion, not thinking about how my getting red-faced and complaining would make things worse for me and the team, not better. I don't think she will, but my manager could uh, retract, my management role. There's a funny story about how they were planning to put the other lead in this role instead of me, then changed their minds. Then they forgot to tell either of us before acting like I knew I was supposed to be in the role. Stupid, really. Well, more like bad communication. I don't know how I got so unafraid of conflict, somehow I can stare down anybody and tell them what everybody else is afraid to say. It's a dangerous ability, sometimes you can make people really angry by telling them the truth, especially if you don't say it particularly kindly. Yeah, I need to work on that. I went to a communications class a few months back, Masterful Conversations, where they talked about exactly this problem, leaving dead bodies was one way to describe this kind of blunt communication. I need to focus on asking questions, I think. I always have a strong opinion, and I know I can blow people over with it. Man, the glare I got from my manager last week when I criticized her presentation (my management-role announcement), would take paint off a barn door. And that was before she got the feedback about me from the other manager, I think! Gonna try:

Wow, that's interesting, can you tell me more about what you meant by that?
Did I understand you correctly that...
That's a really important point, how did you come up with that?